The Soft Side of Discipline: A Journey Back to Self-Trust
I used to start over every Monday.
Fresh planner. New habit tracker. A perfectly color-coded schedule.
I'd wake up with good intentions — maybe even journal a little, sip some lemon water, queue up a podcast that said “you have to want it more than your excuses.”
But by Wednesday? I was tired. Not just physically — I was emotionally drained from the weight of trying to be someone I hadn’t fully become yet.
It wasn’t that I was lazy. Or unmotivated. Or “undisciplined.”
It was that I was building my habits from a place of self-rejection.
I thought if I could just get it right — if I could finally stick to the routine — maybe I’d feel better about myself.
But every time I slipped, every time I hit snooze or skipped the gym or forgot to drink my water, it felt like proof that I wasn’t enough.
That shame cycle? It’s a quiet thief. It steals your joy and your self-trust.
It took a moment in my journal one morning — hair tied up, eyes puffy, heart exhausted — for the truth to finally land:
I’ve been treating discipline like punishment.
When really, it could be love.
Whew.
That was the moment everything shifted.
Discipline didn’t need to be cold or rigid.
It could be soft. It could hold me.
It could be the way I returned to myself… gently.
And so I stopped forcing and started listening.
I began to ask myself:
What do I really need right now?
What’s draining my energy?
What version of discipline feels kind?
And slowly, with grace, I began to rebuild. Not a routine, but a relationship — with myself, with God, with the future I was called to grow into.
Here’s what’s been helping me:
What Discipline Looks Like When It’s Rooted in Self-Love
1. Self-Honesty Over Hustle
I stopped pretending I had the energy for 10 new habits at once.
I gave myself permission to start with one.
One promise. One rhythm. One thing that helped me feel grounded — not performative.
2. Identity Over Outcome
I let go of outcome-obsession and asked:
Who am I becoming through this habit?
It was no longer “I have to do this,” but “I get to become her.”
3. Ritual Over Routine
Instead of checking off boxes, I started lighting a candle before journaling. I played soft music in the morning. I stretched instead of scrolling.
I turned discipline into a devotional — something sacred, not sterile.
4. Tiny Wins Over Big Declarations
I stopped needing every day to be “perfect.”
A walk around the block counted.
Sipping water before coffee counted.
Saying no to something that drained me? That counted too.
Discipline didn’t need to be loud. It just needed to be real.
5. Reflection Over Restriction
Now, I check in weekly. Not with guilt, but with gentleness.
“Where did I show up with love?”
“Where did I avoid myself, and what did I need instead?”
That reflection became the real habit — the one that softened everything else.
This is what I’m learning...
Discipline isn’t built in one dramatic Monday.
It’s built in the small, quiet choices.
The mini promises we keep when no one’s watching.
It’s not about pressure.
It’s about presence.
And when you choose to show up for yourself — again and again — you don’t just build habits.
You build trust.
You build peace.
You build her.
Journal Prompt:
What does “discipline” look like when it’s rooted in love, not shame?
💗 Affirmation:
I show up for myself because I am worthy of my own consistency.
XO, Moe
